5. Ruby

Johnny walked into The Unencumbered Buns and headed back to the booth. He scanned the crowd to try to figure out what kind of music they would want to hear. Tonight looked like a hard rock crowd. That worked for him. The other DJ, "DJ Dapper Dan," saw him and immediately gave a salute. And then took off. That horny bastard always cut out the second Johnny arrived to spend the extra time, and all of his paycheck, in the back room.

"Riders on the Storm," was on, which gave Johnny plenty of time to set up. It wasn't even into the endless rainstorm jackoff portion of the song yet.

As usual, SheRock noticed Johnny and beelined right over to him. "Got any blow honey?"

It never failed. She'd never seen him with blow, or anything other than the occasional drink, but it never stopped her from asking. He enjoyed the process, because she would always do her best walk over to him to try to seduce him. And anyone else who might be watching. To put it bluntly; she definately knew how to walk. She looked a little battle scarred, but in a 'warrior queen of the wasteland' way. A Blond Pat Benatar. She was in shape, and had attitude.

"No blow, no doobage, nothing at all except my talent."

"We're screwed then!" She laughed and sat down beside him. "What tunes will you be playing tonight?"

"Hard rock tonight babe."

"I was in the mood for funk."

"We'll see how the crowd gets later. That yeehaw motherfucker over there needs some hard rock."

Before he could go on, the "yeehaw motherfucker," who was about 6 foot 2, slapped a dancer on the ass, hard, and 3 bouncers floated over to engage him. This then turned into the biggest bar brawl that he had seen since.. last week. This place was definitely a place for scrappers. Tonight it was "drunk army reserve guy versus all the bouncers who didn't want him slapping Jexx on the ass." It was quite a fun show, from back behind the music booth that he and SheRock sat safely in.

What always amazed him was how the bouncers could literally throw a guy right over other people's heads. Where did they learn that skill? Mr. Yeehaw Motherfucker sailed out the exterior door in a most spectacular fashion and the strippers all cheered.

An idea started to form in Johnny's head. If he could get these bouncers in his movie, they could perform all the stunts. He hadn't thought of doing any stunts until just now, but a swearing clown is sure to piss off people and brawls would certainly ensue. Hmm.

Johnny realized the song had ended during the melee and the bar was silent except for the excited coked up chatter of strippers. He plugged in mp3 player and selected the hard rock set list. The MP3 player was all he needed. It was well worth the money to buy it so he could spend his time working on his script and shouting out announcements in the pauses between the songs. Nowadays you could put 1500 songs on an mp3 player and randomize it, and he had his all organized by type of music. Who needs a DJ system?

To her credit, SheRock went off and brought him back a cold beer. He usually let her hang out with him in the booth when she wasn't "entertaining," if she kept an eye out for trouble while he worked on stuff.

First up he had to get the set rolling and then do his bills.

"Newsflash! the Rambler is back with some Hard Rock for your bad self. First up we have Slithering Sally coming in the Alley, followed by Jexxtacular and later, SheRock."

There was never any acknowledgment of his rap, so he sometimes got as silly as he could. People were there to look at naked women, not listen to him. He knew that.

The song kicked off and he pulled out his mail. He got through his bills by the third song. He liked to get his bills done before he wasted his on the job time on anything else. Somehow that seemed noble to him. The Ethics of Stealing Company Time. Taught by Professor Rambler. He was starting to brainstorm over the script when he heard a voice say "interesting writing process."

Ther was something familiar about that voice, but had to look up to remember where he had heard it. It was Shelly, Bily Wellhung's girlfriend. Standing behind her was Jack, the club manager. "Johnny, I want to you meet Ruby, the new girl."

The night just got more interesting.